By Shirley Huang, speech-language pathologist and bilingual researcher (黄文思)

When my sister and I were little we used to get into a lot of trouble. We cut the carpet in our bedrooms because we thought it would grow like grass. We took turns using the washing machine to try to wash ourselves, like we did our clothes. We melted chocolate bars in a microwave until they exploded everywhere, because we wanted to drink hot chocolate. In these moments, my mother would scream “Ngoh fogwan!” How wonderful it is that we can express “white-hot-burning-fire-boiling-over-the-top-rage” in one Chinese word: fogwan! There is no word in English that can capture that same emotion!

Saying that basic emotions like happy, sad, angry, are the same across different languages and cultures oversimplifies the complexity of emotions. Our cultural and language experiences shape how we understand or express emotions. Bilingual children are exposed to their home language at home and in their local community (e.g., Chinatown), with family and community members. They are also learning English in a mainstream American classroom environment with their teachers and peers. Bilinguals vary in when, where, how often, and with whom they are exposed to each language. They may show distributed language skills; they may know some emotions words in one language and not the other or know the word in both languages. For example, children may learn the Chinese word for jealousy with their siblings when they are fighting for their parents’ attention at home, but they may learn the English word for angry when their peers at school won’t share their toys during recess time.

Bilingual children may feel more comfortable expressing some emotions in one language over the other. This is true for adults too! Research shows that bilingual adults prefer expressing their anger in Chinese because it feels more powerful in Chinese than in English. But bilingual adults prefer talking about embarrassing things in English because English feels more distant than Chinese (Chen et al., 2012).

What can parents do at home to support their bilingual children’s emotions? 

Research shows that children’s ability to understand and talk about emotions are important for school success, developing social skills, and positive well-being. Parents are important in helping their child learn about emotions at home, which can help children understand and talk to their peers at school. There are many ways parents can support their bilingual child’s emotional language learning.

Parents can label and explain emotions in themselves, in their children, and in other people. Labeling and explaining emotions help children understand what they are feeling and why they are feelings this way. For example, books have many opportunities for parents to label and explain characters’ emotions that drive their actions. Since bilinguals may know some emotional words in one language and not the other, parents should label and explain emotions in either or both languages. When children understand and express their emotions, it helps them to better manage their emotions.

Another way parents can support children’s emotions is to teach strategies to manage their emotions. One way is reminding children to pause and breathe. It is natural to react immediately when we experience strong negative feelings (e.g., fight or yell). However, teaching children to pause and take three deep breaths gives time for children to assess the situation and reflect before reacting. As children practice pausing and breathing, they begin to learn that they are in control of their actions, their thoughts, and their emotions.

Lastly, parents can create a safe and non-judgmental space for children to talk about their emotions. With COVID-19 and racial justice uprisings, children may be experiencing a range of emotions—from fear to anger. It may be confusing for children to feel this mix of emotions. They may wonder if this is normal or acceptable. Parents can reassure children that it is okay to feel this way. When you validate your child’s feelings, they may be more likely to come to you again to talk about their feelings. Bilinguals may feel more comfortable expressing certain emotions in one language over the other, so encourage your child to talk about their emotions in whatever language they want! The important thing is that they are sharing their emotions with you, which will help their emotional well-being.

Participate in Paid Online Research! 

You can help contribute to our knowledge about bilingual children’s emotion language skills by participating in a paid online research study! Due to COVID-19, the whole study will take place on Zoom to protect you and your child and follow physical distancing orders! Shirley is recruiting 5-year-old Cantonese-English bilingual children. Your child will play word games and tell fun stories in Cantonese and in English! The whole study will take about 2 hours. We will schedule two days: 1 day for English games and 1 day for Chinese games! Parents will get a $40 gift card and children will get a book! If you are interested in participating, contact Shirley by email: shirley.huang-1@colorado.edu or WeChat: Shirley_Huang_1

Shirley Huang is a doctoral student researcher at the University of Colorado Boulder and a bilingual speech-language pathologist. She used to work as a clinician in Boston’s Chinatown. She speaks Cantonese and English.