By a Chinese individual from Queens, NY

Mental health was not a conversation topic in my home. Growing up with a single mom my whole life, I was eager to try dorm life and get a taste of the world outside our apartment. This one week away from home was the trigger for all the underlying mental health struggles and unspoken burdens that had built up. I took a gap year to assess the panic attacks I had experienced during that week away from home. This was all new to me… I was the put together friend and daughter secretly bottling up emotions. These internalized feelings led me to a fight with my mom who invalidated my mental health struggles. After several conversations and tears she said it might be a good idea for me to see a therapist. My therapy sessions were freedom. I felt like the anxiety, panic, and emotional problems I experienced were finally real. I wasn’t crazy, I just needed help. For those who are facing this kind of tension with family and with yourself, look to yourself for answers. Be affirmative and be kind to yourself.

This story is part of a series for 心怡HARMONIOUS, a Chinese mental health initiative, overseen by Dr. Xiaoduo Fan for the UMass Chinese Mental Health Program. To share your story, please use the anonymous submission form found at https://projectharmonious.org/share/.